What happens on Facebook doesn’t necessarily stay there
BY STEVIE THIEDA
OU News Bureau
Facebook can be a great tool for relationships as couples update their time together through pictures, statuses and wall posts.
But it has a downside.
Not everything online is what it seems, and Facebook relationships are no exception.
“My ex-boyfriend told me he deleted his Facebook over the summer, but he had really just blocked me and my friends so he could be in another relationship on Facebook with someone while dating me at the same time,” said Kandice Moorhouse, a Florida State University student from metro Detroit’s Macomb.
“Now it’s not Facebook’s fault for ending our relationship, it’s his,” Moorhouse said. “But people should know that social media can be tampered with and they shouldn’t believe everything they see.”
Known as “The Social Media Couple,” K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky discuss how social media impacts relationships on their blog “Techlationships” and in their book, “Facebook and Your Marriage.”
“People feel bolder behind a screen than in person,” the couple wrote. “People still foolishly believe that ‘what happens on Facebook, stays on Facebook.’ ”
“People type and press ‘Send’ faster than common sense can kick in, and feed off the rush they’re feeling rather than rationally thinking about what they’re doing,” they continued. “This is a recipe for disaster, and it happens at quantum speed on Facebook.”
With about 1.06 billion Facebook users to date, it is easier than ever to keep in constant contact with just about anyone, while never having to go any further than your phone or computer.
“Social media sites like Facebook have brought people together in ways like never before,” said Kevin Marus, a University of Michigan student and Romeo native.
“People in relationships can stay in constant contact with one another through Facebook chatting, texting and other mediums,” he continued. “Twenty years ago, lovebirds only communicated in person or phone calls.”
Facebook “friends” can also play a factor in relationships once they are made public on the social network.
“Not only is it easier for loved ones to communicate on Facebook, it’s a lot easier for anybody to communicate on Facebook,” Marus said. “Some guy from your girlfriend’s class can [befriend] her on Facebook and keep selling himself and tempting her. With so many voices in her ear, she might start to be pulled one way or another.”
Another way Facebook can drive a wedge between friends is through strong opinions posted for all to see and judge.
Oakland University student Alana Hartley of Sterling Heights has seen what something as simple a Facebook post can do to a relationship.
“My friend recently ended her relationship with her boyfriend of almost three years, and she said that Facebook played a part in their relationship ending,” she said. “It wasn’t the sole reason they broke up, but it didn’t help.”
She said Facebook posts of opposing political views put a strain on that couple’s relationship.
“My friend always told me that she would see his posts and get so angry that he felt the way he did,” Hartley said.
Social networks such as Facebook allow for access to almost anything or anyone at any time.
“We live in an age of too many choices,” Marus said. “There are too many guys and girls on Facebook that you forget about the one right in front of you.”
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